Almost 15 years ago I promised myself to never, ever take an exam again! I seem to have forgotten that there was a good reason for this statement; I am not just getting nervous, I am getting nervous breakdowns which start days before the test. Whatever I do, the more I practise, the worse I get, not doing anything however is not an option either.
Well, I had hoped that doing something that I really like doing, which will give me real joy and will be an achievement of MINE, and not something expected from me, would make a change. Oh boy: I could not have been more wrong!
I am doing my motorcycle license, and that bloody thing comes in two parts. So my decline started on 25th October when I failed the first attempt. After that I took a brief recovery, until a couple of days before the 2nd attempt. on 3rd November. From then on it went straight down into the drain.
I herewith congratulate everybody who ever took a road test and stood it, including myself. Back then, 32 years ago I went into tests like a dreamer. I had practised, one is a bit nervous, but school had tests all the time, you get there eventually. And I did. I marched into my A-levels confidently, and although things went better than expected I felt a first glimpse of discontent. An examiner was behaving in a very inquisitive way and almost failed me, and others who were in the room confirmed that it was unnecessary.
And this way my test-standing confidence got ground down over my university years, so that at the end I gave this promise to myself.
During all this time, I never felt that the joy of achievement offsets the effort and the physical pain on the guts, the depression and the fight, this utter fight with myself not to just run as fast and far as I can.
When I stood the 1st part of my motorcycle test everybody else was more excited than I was. Even to show excitement feels exhausting. I really hope that tomorrow goes well for some unknown reason, as from what I see now it is impossible to stand this test. So many junctions I have no idea how to negotiate, roundabouts I am likely to fall over, lanes I cross in a forbidden way, indicators not switched off, cars and pedestrians cut off... I used to love driving my car, it was the one thing that gave me joy and freedom whenever I felt down, and now I don't even feel safe and confident in there anymore, because all I see are rules which I am breaking. I have no idea how I got through 32 years of traffic without accident.
Please everyone, if I ever get this bloody license done and I want to attempt another test: Please remind me not to do it! I mean it!
THIS really IS the last one!
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
The Team is Growing
Our unusual training team to support Kash in his running training for Marathon has increased to four now. Karren is doing the milage on an ergometer and Mai wants to improve her English and will read the number of pages of which we do miles.
This turns out to be a really good thing. It motivates to do me things I never even would have considered before. Since Kash is on a tight training plan there is no questioning of whether or not I would like to row after a weekend in London and a two hours drive home: I just DO!
'The Kash' has the guts to go out in the rain at 8 o'clock on a Sunday night - so I will surely be able to row a bit while sitting in the warmth of my house.
So, YES - Things are good!
Have a look at the score board.
This turns out to be a really good thing. It motivates to do me things I never even would have considered before. Since Kash is on a tight training plan there is no questioning of whether or not I would like to row after a weekend in London and a two hours drive home: I just DO!
'The Kash' has the guts to go out in the rain at 8 o'clock on a Sunday night - so I will surely be able to row a bit while sitting in the warmth of my house.
So, YES - Things are good!
Have a look at the score board.
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Wow, what a week
The previous week I had to just take it easy, I felt quite a bit beaten by the first two runs, so I chickened out while Kash had a bit of a mishap, too. With stitches after 5 miles on the long run day he decided on Thursday to swap things round and to do the long run at the weekend. So he did and then wanted to stay on track doing short run on Monday again... and that was a bit too much for the knees. So he took the rest of the week off.
I am hoping that the resting is doing him as good as it did me. This Tuesday I did a rowing 'HALFMARATHON', I can hardly believe it! It was for Sport Relief and I was a bit inspired by others doing similar things, but I only had planned for 12K and then one thing led to another and ended up with 22k.
I have done one half marathon before, some 4 years back, and I felt really down for a good week. This time I feel completely fit and happy and did a 10 mile bike ride through the forest on mountain bike on Friday. So I am a happy bunny although our score board looks a bit patchy.
Now I will have a couple of days of rest again I am hoping that I can catch up with Kash next week. Wish us luck for knees and other vulnerable body parts...
And we got a third member into the team with a challenge on her own. Mai wants to improve her English and whenever we run or row she will sit down and read a number of pages in English.
If you would like to join with a challenge of your own just let me know, or what about building your own 'Challenge Club'?
I am hoping that the resting is doing him as good as it did me. This Tuesday I did a rowing 'HALFMARATHON', I can hardly believe it! It was for Sport Relief and I was a bit inspired by others doing similar things, but I only had planned for 12K and then one thing led to another and ended up with 22k.
I have done one half marathon before, some 4 years back, and I felt really down for a good week. This time I feel completely fit and happy and did a 10 mile bike ride through the forest on mountain bike on Friday. So I am a happy bunny although our score board looks a bit patchy.
Now I will have a couple of days of rest again I am hoping that I can catch up with Kash next week. Wish us luck for knees and other vulnerable body parts...
And we got a third member into the team with a challenge on her own. Mai wants to improve her English and whenever we run or row she will sit down and read a number of pages in English.
If you would like to join with a challenge of your own just let me know, or what about building your own 'Challenge Club'?
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Flesh to The Bone
Ok: I am sitting here with a head like a tomato, blisters on fingers and feet and wonder what I let myself into. It was the second race day with my friend Kash who is training for the London Marathon. At least so far I am winning, but I am not sure if that is a good thing. I now at least understand why 3 month of a strict training plan is recommended. The body not just needs time to get cardio fitness meaning the heart being able to pump the blood efficiently enough to sustain the challenge, no, it also needs to build the muscle tissue needed to survive the repetitions of the move. We did 8 miles, 13 k today and from 9 k on, I just didn't feel my legs anymore, the rear was in constant pain, and my spine had shrivelled to half it's original length. If it wouldn't have been for poor Kash running out there in the darkness I would have thrown the towel right there and then. So in a way it was a matter of putting my mind to it, but I could feel that those 13k were pretty much the limit.
Hence, given that the boy is 10 weeks ahead of the training plan I definitely will not join him in the long run this weekend. I decided to do half of it... which is another 13k... and if I can keep that time I can be proud of myself.
Actually, rowing and running get compared quite often and is said as needing similar effort... I can't quite believe that given the result of the races. Anybody out there doing both and being able to compare?
However, stay tuned into the race list.
Sunday, 19 February 2012
Kinda A New Challenge
Oh, I can tell you that the head is still not working...
Since the body however, is not doing any better I thought I ... actually I didn't think a thing! I was chatting with a friend about his training for the London Marathon in April; I said that I could never run, but only row; He said I race you; ... and now we are kind of training partners.
It's relatively simple: Whenever he goes on the road, I will go into my spare room with the rower and do the same distance, preferably faster than him. Rowing and running can well be compared in effort and the time it takes to do a certain distance... Well, kinda... he already is in his 10th week of training and I am a slob right now. Hence it IS a bit of a challenge.
Although: I don't intend to go for a marathon distance. Like for runners the preparation time for rowers is the same and the style is very similar. Having missed half the training time I will aim for a half marathon by 22nd April, meaning that I will replace the long runs the boy will be doing by half the distance; that is still 9 miles / 15 km.
Additionally it means that I have to row four times a week... oh, oh!
Here is the training plan, not sure if I am really looking forward to this.
Marathon Training Program | |||||
Week | Day 1 miles / km | Day 2 miles / km | Day 3 miles / km | Day 4 miles / km | Total/week miles / km |
1. | 3 / 4.8 | 4 / 6.4 | 3 / 4.8 | 5 / 8.0 | 15 / 24.0 |
2. | 3 / 4.8 | 4 / 6.4 | 3 / 4.8 | 6 / 9.7 | 16 / 25.7 |
3. | 3 / 4.8 | 4 / 6.4 | 3 / 4.8 | 7 / 11.3 | 17 / 27.4 |
4. | 3 / 4.8 | 5 / 8.0 | 3 / 4.8 | 8 / 12.9 | 19 / 30.6 |
5. | 3 / 4.8 | 5 / 8.0 | 3 / 4.8 | 10 / 16.1 | 21 / 33.8 |
6. | 4 / 6.4 | 5 / 8.0 | 4 / 6.4 | 11 / 17.7 | 24 / 54.7 |
7. | 4 / 6.4 | 6 / 9.7 | 4 / 6.4 | 12 / 19.3 | 26 / 41.8 |
8. | 4 / 6.4 | 6 / 9.7 | 4 / 6.4 | 14 / 22.5 | 28 / 45.0 |
9. | 4 / 6.4 | 7 / 11.3 | 4 / 6.4 | 16 / 25.7 | 31 / 49.9 |
10. | 5 / 8.0 | 8 / 12.9 | 5 / 8.0 | 16 / 25.7 | 34 / 45.7 |
11. | 5 / 8.0 | 8 / 12.9 | 5 / 8.0 | 16 / 25.7 | 34 / 45.7 |
12. | 5 / 8.0 | 8 / 12.9 | 5 / 8.0 | 18 / 29.0 | 36 / 57.9 |
13. | 5 / 8.0 | 8 / 12.9 | 5 / 8.0 | 18 / 29.0 | 36 / 57.9 |
14. | 5 / 8.0 | 8 / 12.9 | 5 / 8.0 | 9 / 14.5 | 27 / 43.5 |
15. | 3 / 4.8 | 5 / 8.0 | 3 / 4.8 | 8 / 12.9 | 19 / 30.6 |
16. | 3 / 4.8 | 3 / 4.8 | Walk 3 = 4.8 | marathon | 35.2 / 56.6 |
415.2 / 668.2 | |||||
Friday, 6 January 2012
One of those things...
I really need to get cracking on this personal training thing. It is all nice and well to be able to get to the exams with a flexible schedule, but that means one has to find the determination within.
During the past 3 month I had the opportunity to part time volunteer in a gym and I learned an awful lot, although it raised a lot of questions as well.
What do I want to achieve with a client? Should I give the clients what they want, although I know it will make them fail in the long run? How much of the success lies in ‘the trainer being an appointment that needs keeping’ rather then the trainer itself? How much of the teaching should go into ‘help them finding the determination within’ as opposed to pure training technique.
Especially at the start of the New Year I read it a lot on facebook: ‘I had my first personal trainer session, it was fantastic; I almost threw up!’ Powering out gives instant gratification but this training style can’t usually be maintained for good.
For how long will one be able and willing to pay for a trainer and hence for the appointment in the calendar. A holiday usually is an all too welcome excuse for a break, and after the appointments slip. By then one has had a bit of success and the ‘urge to do something’ is gone. From then on it goes downhill until next year.
Maybe my idea of training people in a way that they learn how to get themselves out of a dip is a bit naive, and it sort of renders my job ad absurdum, as those people won’t come back next year to pay me. Future will tell if I can make a business that way. For now I have to get the stupid exams out of the way... could do with a bit of personal training for that!
During the past 3 month I had the opportunity to part time volunteer in a gym and I learned an awful lot, although it raised a lot of questions as well.
What do I want to achieve with a client? Should I give the clients what they want, although I know it will make them fail in the long run? How much of the success lies in ‘the trainer being an appointment that needs keeping’ rather then the trainer itself? How much of the teaching should go into ‘help them finding the determination within’ as opposed to pure training technique.
Especially at the start of the New Year I read it a lot on facebook: ‘I had my first personal trainer session, it was fantastic; I almost threw up!’ Powering out gives instant gratification but this training style can’t usually be maintained for good.
For how long will one be able and willing to pay for a trainer and hence for the appointment in the calendar. A holiday usually is an all too welcome excuse for a break, and after the appointments slip. By then one has had a bit of success and the ‘urge to do something’ is gone. From then on it goes downhill until next year.
Maybe my idea of training people in a way that they learn how to get themselves out of a dip is a bit naive, and it sort of renders my job ad absurdum, as those people won’t come back next year to pay me. Future will tell if I can make a business that way. For now I have to get the stupid exams out of the way... could do with a bit of personal training for that!
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